


Permission

by youcouldmakealife



Series: Impaired Judgment (and other excuses) [82]
Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 14:13:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18412286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youcouldmakealife/pseuds/youcouldmakealife
Summary: “I can’t believe you’re going to be a child bride,” Erin says.“I’m nineteen, Erin,” Jared says.“My bad,” Erin says. “Nineteen’s a totally reasonable age to get married.”“Oh fuck off,” Jared says.





	Permission

So basically everything really sucks for awhile. Well, everything really sucks except Bryce, who is honestly the most supportive person in the entire world, and way too understanding when Jared’s a complete dick to him because he’s the only one he’s actually interacting with, so any venting tends to go his way. Well, that or at the TV. Jared yells while playing a lot of video games. Not hockey ones. Not hockey anything right now; neither of them are interested in watching the playoffs, whether that’s the NHL, or in what Jared is preparing to studiously ignore, the upcoming Mem Cup. Sooner rather than later they’re both going to have to start training, prepping for next year, but Jared needs a little time to heal first, both mentally and physically.

Chaz keeps inviting him to hang out, but Jared makes weak excuses, honestly afraid of it, because the only guy not on this year’s Hitmen roster who knows how Jared feels more than Bryce does is Chaz, and it’s one thing to fight back tears in front of the guy you’ve agreed to marry, it’s a whole other thing to do it in front of your former captain. Chaz is understanding about that too, sending a _whenever youre ready dude_ the third time Jared hedges, because again, Chaz Rossi is a much better person than Jared is. Honestly, everyone in Jared’s life is, excepting the hobgoblin Mathesons, who are the reason he is what he is.

The hobgoblin Mathesons were also initially understanding about Jared needing some time, but a week after Jared returns to Calgary with empty hands, his mom calls, telling him that they won’t say a word about hockey if he doesn’t want to, but his presence at dinner that night is not optional — oh, and Bryce is welcome to come. And Jared’s mom is no longer the boss of him, but she’s also — well, she had sounded firm, but she’d also thrown in a ‘we miss you, honey’, and Jared doesn’t want to add guilt to the pile of bad feelings he’s been nursing all week.

“Are you going to tell them tonight?” Bryce asks, when Jared gets off the phone. 

“It doesn’t really seem like a good time,” Jared says.

“It’s been literal months,” Bryce says, sounding a little frustrated. “Better that they find out from you and not someone else.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like Chaz is going to say anything to them, or like my parents talk to Greg now that I’m an adult or anything,” Jared says.

“Yeah,” Bryce says. “But like — I told my mom they didn’t know, but I’m worried she’ll like, think they do now or something, since I told her you were going to tell them after playoffs.”

“So?” Jared says.

“So like, my mom and your mom email sometimes,” Bryce says.

“ _What_?” Jared asks.

“You didn’t know that?” Bryce asks.

“You didn’t tell me!” Jared says.

“I thought you knew!” Bryce says. “They exchanged email addresses when they met.”

Jared would not put it past his mom not to tell him about it just so that one day she could faux-casually say ‘so I talked to Elaine Marcus today’ and snicker while he choked on his dinner. Jared would think that maybe his mom does know they’re engaged and is waiting to spring it on him, but then, she wouldn’t keep something like that from his dad — they basically always know what the other knows with the exception of like, ‘shh, this is what we’re getting your dad for his birthday’ kinds of things — and his dad _definitely_ doesn’t know, Jared is one-hundred percent sure of that. He inherited his lack of brain to mouth filter directly from one Don Matheson. If his dad knew, well, there’d have been yelling by now. A lot of it. And possibly attempted murder.

Jared guesses he’s telling them tonight, then. 

“I can come with you if you want,” Bryce says. Jared didn’t even tell him about his mom’s open invitation to him, so that’s just him being stupidly brave.

“Still want you to live to the altar,” Jared says.

Bryce snorts.

“It’s just — totally not going to be pleasant,” Jared says. “I don’t want you to deal with that shit.”

“I’ve kind of signed on for that,” Bryce says. “Better or worse, y’know?”

“You’re very sweet,” Jared says. “And I’m still not letting you get within killing distance yet.”

“Don’t die either,” Bryce says.

“They won’t kill me,” Jared says. “But if I don’t come home tonight, I’ve been kidnapped.”

“I’d come rescue you,” Bryce says earnestly, and Jared laughs, presses a kiss to his temple.

*

There are many possible ways to approach telling his parents, and Jared considers and rejects every single one at least twice until he’s perilously close to being late for dinner.

“I love you,” Bryce says when Jared leaves, like he’s about to ship off to war or something, and man, the pit in his stomach has him feeling that way too. 

In the car, Jared finally decides on a ‘no take-backs’ approach, sliding his engagement ring onto his finger after he parks in front of his parents’. It’s the first time he’ll be wearing it outside their apartment for an extended period of time, and it feels weird. Nice, but weird. One big bonus of this approach, other than making sure he doesn’t chicken out and come home to a very disappointed but trying to hide it Bryce, is that he won’t have to stumble over his words, because his parents annoyingly pick up on everything. There’ll be yelling within two minutes of him getting in the door.

Except his mom doesn’t notice when he hugs her, and his dad doesn’t notice when he hugs _him_ , and once they sit down to dinner his mom starts filling him in on his grandma’s health, and his dad tells him about work, and it’s _infuriating_. Of course the one time he wants them to notice something so he doesn’t have to come out and _say_ it, they’re totally oblivious. Of course. That is straight up Jared Matheson luck for you.

“Hey mom,” Jared says. “You want the salt?”

“I’m fine,” she says, but Jared pointedly passes it to her with his left hand. She takes it, frowning, but not because she’s noticed the ring. She remains totally oblivious to the ring.

Jared sulks. 

“Why’re you wearing a ring?” Erin asks as Jared stabs at his pasta, and Jared has never been more grateful to her in his entire life. She thinks she’s cornered him, but she’s played right into his hands. 

Jesus, he sounds like a supervillain right now.

“Wait,” Erin says, and it doesn’t matter if he sounds like a supervillain, because Erin automatically wins for that evil grin she gets on her face. “Is that a _wedding_ ring?”

“Engagement ring,” Jared says, and forces himself not to instinctively hide his hands when his parents look.

“ _Jared_ ,” his mom says.

“Surprise?” Jared says.

There is a very heavy silence, like physical weight.

“Erin, can you please go up to your room?” his mom finally asks.

“I’m eating,” Erin protests.

“You can eat there,” his mom says.

“I’m not allowed to eat in my room, remember?” Erin says. This is definitely the first time Erin’s ever given a shit about that rule. Jared can’t count how many times he’s seen her smuggle food upstairs. He never snitched; that was mutually assured destruction, because she’d seen him doing it too.

“I’ll make an exception this time,” his mom says. “We need to talk to Jared alone right now.”

“You mean yell at Jared,” Erin says. “And I know, that’s why I’m staying.”

“Erin,” his dad snaps, and she loudly sulks — Jared has no idea how she does it, but she does — snatching two extra pieces of garlic bread before going upstairs.

“You know,” his dad says, voice even enough that Jared’s immediately wary. “Bryce asked us if he had our permission marry you.”

“Yeah, he told me you said no,” Jared says. “Except, you know, I’m an adult, so I don’t need your permission.”

“So he asks us, but when we say no he just does it anyway?” his dad asks. The even tone’s completely disappeared. RIP Don Matheson’s hold over his temper. “That shows a complete lack of—”

“I found the ring,” Jared says. “He didn’t even like, have to propose, I said yes when I saw it. Which again, I can, because I am an _adult_.”

“Barely,” his dad says. “For Christ’s sake—”

“Don,” his mom says.

“You hadn’t even moved out of the house when he asked!” his dad says.

“Wait,” Jared says. “What? I’ve been living with him for like, nine months.”

His dad doesn’t say anything, just scowls at him.

“Mom?” Jared asks.

“He came to ask us for permission to propose when you were at prospect camp last summer,” she says. 

“Seriously?” Jared asks, and he’s honestly impressed Bryce kept it on the down low for as long as he did. He’s also kind of impressed it stayed hidden considering how dumb a hiding place a sock drawer is. Talk about clichés. “And you told him no, like it’s any fucking business of yours?”

“He _asked_ ,” his mom says.

“It’s like, meant to be a symbolic thing,” Jared says. “You don’t say _no_.”

“I don’t think you know what you’re getting into!” his mom says. “This isn’t a joke, Jared, this is a commitment for the rest of your life.”

“I’m well aware of that,” Jared says. “I’m not stupid, so please stop acting like I don’t know the consequences of fucking _marriage_.”

“Stop swearing at your mother,” his dad snaps.

“No one’s calling you stupid,” his mom says. “But you know — I know feelings are very intense when you’re a teenager—”

“I’m an adult,” Jared mutters, but she just keeps going.

“I don’t doubt that you love Bryce and that he loves you,” his mom says. “I know you love each other. But love isn’t the only part of a marriage, Jared. There’s a lot of commitment and compromise required to make things work, and considering you probably won’t even be living in the same city in a few months — I just don’t think you really understand what’s involved, honey.”

“I did research,” Jared says. “I know what marriage involves.” 

“I’m sure you did,” his mom says. “But I meant — research isn’t a substitute for experience, and you’ve only been together for a year and a bit—”

“Almost two years, actually,” Jared says. “How long were you together before dad proposed?”

Barely over a year, Jared knows, so there.

“Your mom wasn’t _nineteen years old_ ,” his dad says.

“And mom also hadn’t lived with you for almost a year,” Jared shoots back. “I know what it’s like to live with him. I —”

“You don’t know what it’s like to live away from him, though,” his mom says. “And that’s going to be the reality soon. Maybe this is something you should be deciding after you see whether things are feasible when you don’t live in the same city.”

“This isn’t like—” Jared says. “We’re not getting married tomorrow or something. We’re not even planning on doing it this year. So we’ll know what it’s like by the time we do get married.”

“Then why don’t you wait?” his mom asks. “If you feel this way now, there’s no reason not to wait until you’re a little more settled. You don’t have to rush into anything.”

“It’s not rushing, though,” Jared says.

“Getting engaged at nineteen isn’t rushing?” his mom asks. 

“Not when I want to spend the rest of my life with him, no,” Jared says.

“Then you’ll still want to in five years!” she says. “I don’t understand why you need to do this now.”

Jared has about a hundred different answers on his tongue, but none of them feel like they’d be convincing, feel like something his mom wouldn’t have an immediate retort to. God, is _he_ this fucking exhausting to argue with? No wonder Bryce hates when they fight.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” Jared says instead, an excuse to just — stop for a second, text Bryce, and his dad looks like he’s about to protest before he clearly realises they’ll still have Jared trapped when he comes back down. It’s too small a window to climb out of, and honestly, Jared’s not risking a broken leg just to escape this conversation, so the whole second floor’s out.

His trip upstairs is interrupted, however, because Erin is literally sitting on the top of the stairs, chin in her hands, looking like all her dreams have come true.

“That’s creepy as fuck,” Jared says, “You’re creepy as fuck.”

Erin smiles back at him.

“Say what you’ve gotta say, I need to pee,” Jared says.

“I can’t believe you’re going to be a child bride,” Erin says.

“I’m nineteen, Erin,” Jared says.

“My bad,” Erin says. “Nineteen’s a totally reasonable age to get married.”

“Oh fuck off,” Jared says.

“Mom, Jared told me to fuck off!” Erin yells. “And called me creepy as fuck!”

“Did he say that because you’re eavesdropping when you’re not supposed to?” mom calls back.

“—no,” Erin yells belatedly, scowling now.

“Well that backfired,” Jared says.

“Fuck off,” Erin says, and only gets out of his way after he nudges her repeatedly with his foot.

He’s got a text from Bryce when he checks his phone in the bathroom, one he must have sent even before Jared got to his parents’, a _how did it go??????_ , and then, before he can even reply, he gets another, _do i need to rescue u?????_

_I don’t think I’m going to be forcibly confined?_ , Jared texts back. _But if I’m not home in an hour, definitely come rescue me._ No way is he enduring much more of this conversation without bailing.

_ok_ , Bryce responds, along with a flurry of hearts, and Jared blows out a breath, flushing the toilet and then running the sink — always best to keep up appearances when you use your bladder as an excuse.

Erin’s no longer on the stairs when Jared gets into the hall, but her door’s ajar — unusual as she, like Jared, is a door firmly shut person — so she’s probably planning on eavesdropping from there, creeping back into the hall when he goes back downstairs. Whatever, it’s her business as much as it is his parents. Which is to say it’s not, but they’re making it their business anyway.

“Can I finish dinner or are you going to keep yelling at me?” Jared asks.

“We’re not yelling at you,” his mom says, and Jared raises his eyebrows. “We should eat.”

They manage like, three bites in silence before his dad puts his fork down.

“Oh, this will be good,” Jared says.

“Don’t be snide,” his mom says.

“Dad’ll have it covered,” Jared says.

“Hey!” she says. “Both of you, can you just—”

“Does Greg know who you’re suddenly planning on marrying?” his dad asks.

“Yeah,” Jared says, getting some satisfaction out of the clearly surprised look on his dad’s face. “And Bryce told his agent. I told you, we’re serious about this.”

“Elaine?” his mom asks.

“Bryce told her, yeah,” Jared says.

“Oh yeah?” his dad asks. “And what does Elaine have to say?”

“She’s happy about it,” Jared says. 

“Well of course she is,” his dad says snidely. Like Jared said. “Her kid isn’t marrying Bryce Marcus.”

“Hey,” Jared snaps. “Enough, okay. I don’t know what else he has to do to get you to treat him with some fucking respect. He tries so hard —”

“ _Assault_ , Jared,” his dad snaps back. “Driving under the influence.”

“Which is all shit that happened before he even met me!” Jared says. “All he’s done since then is be a perfect boyfriend.”

Well, to their knowledge at least, and even at his most pissed, Jared hadn’t even remotely considered telling them otherwise. It’s not like his dad needs the ammo — he’s doing just fine with blanks.

“He loves me, okay,” Jared says. “And he’s crazy supportive of me, and he treats me _amazing_ , even when I’m a dick, and he’s willing to like, tell people about us even though it scares the shit out of him because he loves me. So can you please show him some respect for once?”

“Jared,” his mom says quietly.

“You’re aware wedding certificates aren’t private, right?” his dad asks. “He’s so scared of people knowing, but he’s fine with someone checking his name out on a whim —”

“Nope,” Jared says. “I researched it. Only people who can get a copy are next-of-kin or like, our lawyers. Not that I have a lawyer, but like, you know what I mean. That’s Alberta, at least. BC needs written authorization from one of us, so it’s also pretty safe if we get married there instead.”

“You think of everything, huh,” his dad says. It’s not a compliment.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Jared says. “Because I’m serious about this, despite what you guys seem to think. You’re not going to talk me out of it.”

“We’re not trying to talk you out of it—” his mom says.

“No?” Jared asks. “This was all some elaborate reverse psychology, then?”

“We just want you to spend some time thinking about this!” his mom says.

“I mean, we’ve been engaged since March, so I think I’ve put the time in,” Jared says before he can help himself, and fuck, that was — that was not the right thing to say. Those faces are not happy faces.

“Since _March_?” his mom says. “And you didn’t _tell us_? It’s _May._ ”

“I can’t imagine why I would have been a little anxious about the way you’d react!” Jared says. “I mean, you’re being so reasonable right now!”

“For _fuck’s_ sakes, Jared,” his dad says.

“Yeah, that’s—” Jared says. “I think that’s my cue. I’ll give you guys some time to think about it, you know, since that’s so important.”

“Jared!” his dad yells when Jared hits the hallway, shoves his feet into his shoes. Lots of time to think about it. Jared will give them a few weeks at least.

It’s not that Jared expected them to like, suddenly change and be hyped about it, he knew that it was going to be a shitshow the moment he thought about telling them, let alone when he walked in the door today, he just — hoped, he guesses. Hoped they’d figured out how serious about Bryce Jared was, the kind of serious he’s never been about anything in his life about hockey, the kind of serious that honestly scares the shit out of him if he thinks about it for too long, because it’s so big. His feelings are so big.

His mom calls when he’s in the car, but it is both unsafe and illegal to answer the phone while driving, so obviously he’s not picking up that call. Probably a shitty excuse when he’s got a bluetooth enabled car, but what the fuck ever.

“They didn’t kidnap you,” Bryce says when Jared gets home. He’s smiling, but Jared doesn’t know if he’s imagining the anxiety behind it or not. Probably not. This is the kind of situation that causes anxiety, especially since Bryce had to sit around and imagine how it was going. “So that’s good.”

“About the only part of it that was good, unfortunately,” Jared says.

Bryce’s smile dims, and it’s pretty clear that he’d hoped it’d go well too. Which like, obviously. Fuck, Jared doesn’t know, he’s tired. He didn’t think his parents being against it would hurt as much as it does, that them not trusting him to make his own choices would be so — insulting’s not the right word, even though it is insulting. Hurtful. It fucking hurts. He’s always been responsible, always done what they wanted him to do, and Bryce is their big exception, he knows, but he doesn’t think he’s making the wrong choice here, and he’s working with a lot more information than they are.

Jared kicks off his shoes, goes straight to the couch, putting his head in Bryce’s lap when Bryce moves his laptop aside. Bryce’s hand is in his hair almost immediately. “Your hair’s still fried,” he says softly.

“I know,” Jared says. He dyed it back to as close as his natural colour as he could find almost immediately, but it’s still dry, brittle from the bleach. Jared’s been trying not to see it as a metaphor for the Hitmen season.

“There’s a good conditioner for that,” Bryce says. “I’ll order some for you tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Jared says.

“Still want to marry me?” Bryce asks after a minute, voice so small Jared almost doesn’t hear him.

“Don’t be stupid, Bryce,” Jared says.

“Is that yes?” Bryce asks.

“Duh,” Jared says, and tilts his head so he can kiss the palm of Bryce’s hand, lets it rest against his lips until it stops shaking.


End file.
